When It Rains...

Mel met me at school so she could see my classroom. After listening to my speech about how I was going to organize and decorate my room, Mel told me she really needed to talk with me.

“I really need to talk to you”

“We are talking! Look at this huge blank wall! I need posters from Universities across the country to cover it! Maybe pennant flags?”

“I really need to ask you something…”

“What? What’s the matter? Are you hungry? There’s an awesome Chinese place down the street…”

“No. I just want to talk and don’t want to here.”

“Well, this is my classroom now. We can come and go as we please… I even have a lock on the door…”, I winked at her.

“I’d feel more comfortable at your place”

“…”

“Feel more comfortable TALKING! Not doing whatever you’re thinking about.”

Flash forward to my house, she sits on the couch and asks:

“Is our relationship going anywhere?”

Like the sweet grasp of death, every man knows this conversation will come up eventually, but nothing can quite prepare us for it. At that moment, a list of the top ten stresses in my life at that time began to manifest:

10. I’m responsible for all my finances now.
9. I have college debts that need to be paid (yes, that does include bar tabs)
8. I have to learn a new curriculum…
7. …and make lesson plans.
6. I have to create a Creative Writing syllabus!
5. I have to make new friends with co-workers (who are probably more qualified than me)
4. Holy shit I’m not qualified or confident enough to teach Grammar!
3. My parents are struggling because of my dad’s new career choice.
2. I haven’t had any me time lately
1. I hope Melanie doesn’t bring up whether this relationship is going anywhere or not.

We talked, or rather, she talked and I froze. I wasn’t fully prepared for this conversation and I don’t think anyone is considering the circumstances. I was freaked and angry. My career was about to start and this was supposed to be my day. Instead, my girlfriend of five years wanted to know where she fit in all of this.

It was time to shit or get off the pot and do the only unselfish thing I could think of. So I said the only rationale thing that came to mind:

“I think you should leave.”

And after shedding many tears and venting many frustration, that’s exactly what she did.