Panicked, angry, feeling utterly alone and defeated are all emotions associated with current popular music trends (see Emo), but also with a break-up. Binge drinking seems to follow such emotions. Less than two weeks are left before school starts. I stop shaving and start showing up to the daily employee retreats with little sleep and a hangover. I was always on time though, because I’d purposely be in the parking lot twenty-minutes early. That’s about how long it takes to bottle up emotions and face new co-workers like I hadn’t just broke–up with a girl and drank all night feeling sorry for myself.
If I could keep my mind preoccupied, there wouldn’t be time left to reflect, doubt, or think about it. Think about what? Think about the possibility that I won't find someone else or the possibility that I don't want anyone else. Focusing on my career was my moment of peace. The newlyweds, on the other hand, had different ideas:
“I can’t wait to get home and spend time with my husband!”
“I love spending time with my step-kids! Tonight, we’re coloring!”
“My husband’s cooking dinner tonight, again!”
When I get home, my dog greets me. She’s a poor-man’s beagle, a Harrier. We get the mail together and she watches me cook dinner. We eat at the dinner table. She can’t actually sit at the table but she sits on the floor and eats with me. Beyond this routine, I look increasingly forward to finding anyone who’s willing to go drinking with me. After all, drinking alone is just sad and makes you look like some sort of alcoholic! Slowly, I start to reconnect with old friends, mostly female. As cruel jokes go, they’re all currently involved.
Getting nowhere in leaps and bounds, school is about to start. Flash forward through the first week of school:
Day 1: Introductions – name game, Classroom rules, Syllabus
Day 2: Introductions continue – Scavenger hunt, textbooks, supply list, using the agendas
Day 3: The Cask of Amontillado – Introduction
Day 4: The Cask of Amontillado –Reading Aloud
Day 5: Library orientation… and Email from Mandy.
I stopped drinking at this point but wasn’t done feeling sorry for myself. I was, however, very eager to start drinking once the weekend kicked off. It was a nice surprise to receive an e-mail from Mandy, a former co-worker gal pal of mine. She was one of the few perfectly sane women in my life that I came to know over the years, but like all sane women she was already taken. We were good friends to say the least.
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To: MrJ@webmail.org
From: Mandynificent@gonzaga.net
Subject: Blind Date?
Hey Josh! How’s the new career? I bet it’s more fun than banking! I heard you’re single again? What’s up with that? Although I know it’s soon, I have someone in mind for you to meet. Would you be interested?
Love,
Mandy
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Yes. I was interested.
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